Catching Feels

Alright. So where does this even start.

I feel like I obsess over boys I've never met, or replay scenes of our relationship when he hasn't even followed me back on Instagram yet, like any other 19 year old girl...right?? That being said, I don't think I truly catch actual feelings very often. I think a lot of the times I either romanticize a person that I wouldn't really have a good time with, or I have a pessimistic approach to love and relationships which I think has probably caused me to have very little romantic history with people.

I'm saying all of this, but alas, I have now caught feels. It's weird, the timing of it, the scenario of how, and the complications of it all. But I have, and its scary.

I watched my friends all throughout school experience all of this emotional tumult while I never really felt I had until now. I've obviously had my crushes and a rare occasional thing with someone but never did I realize how much it feels like to care until you actually do catch feelings.

So for everyone out there who is caught in their feels and doesn't know what to do with themselves, here's a hug from me to you electronically because that shits confusing and sometimes everyone could use a hug.

I think a big reason of why I'm writing about this is because its such a new extremity for me to feel that I have difficulty expressing and working through those feelings. I get weird talking about it because I feel like as soon as I put it out into the world it can get taken away as fast. And that's an awful mindset to have. It makes me feel like I have to engulf my excitement and hopefulness in a layer of fear just to protect myself in case things don't turn out the way I might want them too, as if I have to create this shield to protect myself because at the end of the day, all of us just don't want to get hurt, especially by someone we care about.

So yes, catching feelings is scary, but to be honest, I think it's a wonderful thing to know you can feel such a way. For awhile I always worried that I wouldn't be capable of really finding someone I'd always enjoy to be around or that I gravitate towards and whether those feelings would be returned, even if not forever. So it's nice to know that I can feel that way.

Remember that all of the energy and time spent on this other person is all just an addition to your growth and understanding of others as a human being. It's natural and amazing and stressful and exhausting but mostly exciting. So just be honest, be open, and remember that nothing grows where you don't water it so say all that you feel and need to because if you don't the other person won't read your mind.